Happy New Year

Photograph by Paolo Brillo
Royal Albert Hall 2013  

From The New York Times, Arts Beat, The Culture at Large, November 19, 2013: 

A Bob Dylan Video 47 Years in the Making

By ALLAN KOZINN

Promotional video clips were hardly unknown when Bob Dylan released “Like a Rolling Stone” as a single in 1965, but Mr. Dylan never made one for the song. Now Columbia, his record label, is making up for that oversight with a newly produced web video for the song, mainly to promote “The Complete Album Collection, Volume 1,” a 47-CD set that includes all of Mr. Dylan’s studio albums, six live sets and a two-disc rarities compilation. But in the process, the company is redefining the way promotional clips are viewed.

Usually, you sit back and watch. If they’re by a performer you collect, you may go to some effort to obtain a copy. But Columbia’s new “Like a Rolling Stone,” which went live on Mr. Dylan’s website on Tuesday morning, demands not to be played so much as played with.

 I wasn't able to embed the "newly produced web video" mentioned above into my blog page here, but please do click on the link provided above to see and interact with this "newly produced web video" which is truly amazing.  If you don't thoroughly enjoy the experience, well,  ..... I don't quite know what to say about that, you will have to end the sentence for yourself.

Click here for the rest of Allan Kozinn's piece on the making of the video. 

I'll Be Seeing You

Cathedral bells were tolling and our hearts sang on;

Was it the spell of Paris or the April dawn?
Who knows if we shall meet again ....
But when the morning chimes ring sweet again...

I'll be seeing you

My husband, many years ago,  told me he didn't believe in an afterlife called Heaven.  It shook me to the core and I replied to him, "I don't care if you believe or not.  That's where I'm going and you're going with me even if I have to drag you there."  Recently, the subject of Heaven came up again, of course, I was the one to bring it up.  This time he said, "I'm not sure if Heaven is real, but if that's where you're going, I'm going with you." 

Gustav Mahler, Symphony No. 3 in D minor Sixth Movement

 "See" what becomes of the melody at 1:43

Orquesta Sinfónica de Puerto Rico
Maximiano Valdés, conductor
Coral Filarmónica de San Juan
Coro de Niños de San Juan
Carmen Acevedo Lucío, chorus master
Festival Casals- March 2008

 In its simplest form, the program consists of a title for each of the six movements:

1. " Pan Awakes, Summer Marches In"
2. "What the Flowers in the Meadow Tell Me"
3. "What the Animals in the Forest Tell Me"
4. "What Man Tells Me"
5. "What the Angels Tell Me"
6. "What Love Tells Me"

Mahler originally envisioned a seventh movement, "Heavenly Life" (alternatively, "What the Child Tells Me"), but eventually dropped this, using it instead as the last movement of the Symphony No. 4.

which incorporates a song called "Das himmlische Leben", which presents a child's vision of Heaven.

Das Himmlische Leven

The Heavenly Life

We enjoy the heavenly pleasures
and avoid the earthly things.
No worldly tumult
does one hear in Heaven!
Everything lives in the gentlest peace!
We lead an angelic life!
Nevertheless we are very merry:
we dance and leap,
hop and sing!
Meanwhile, Saint Peter in the sky looks on.

Saint John has let his little lamb go
to the butcher Herod.
We lead a patient, innocent,
dear little lamb to death!
Saint Luke slaughters oxen
without giving it thought or attention.
Wine costs not a penny in Heaven's cellar;
and angels bake the bread.

Good vegetables of all sorts
grow in Heaven's garden!
Good asparagus, beans
and whatever we wish!
Full bowls are ready for us!
Good apples, good pears and good grapes!
The gardener permits us everything!
Would you like roebuck, would you like hare?
In the very streets
they run by!

Should a fast-day arrive,
all the fish swim up to us with joy!
Over there, Saint Peter is running already
with his net and bait
to the heavenly pond.
Saint Martha must be the cook!

No music on earth
can be compared to ours.
Eleven thousand maidens
dare to dance!
Even Saint Ursula herself is laughing!
Cecilia and all her relatives
are splendid court musicians!
The angelic voices
rouse the senses
so that everything awakens with joy.

gone, gone, really gone, real far gone, YIPPIE!!!!!!

	You don't have to be a Freudian to enjoy Freud's couch.  It's a thing of beauty in and of itself.  Stretch out.  Close your eyes.  Free associate.  I don't want to make you paranoid or anything, but remember - you are on the internet - men in white coats are watching your every move and reading your every word. This article, "Analysing Freud's Couch" by Peter Cook appeared in The Guardian, Monday 21 August 2006 "Why did Sigmund Freud make his patients lie on couches? Why didn't he tell them to sit up straight, or psychoanalyse them standing up? The solution to this mystery has been found and is on display in a fascinating exhibition in Freud's old apartment in Vienna, part of the celebrations for the 150th anniversary of his birth. In Freud's day, reclining in mixed company was an extremely risque business. "If a visitor is announced, you are to receive him in a standing position -never lying on the chaise longue," warned Konstanze von Franken in her Handbook of Good Form & Fine Manners, published in Berlin in 1922.  Even sitting upright on a couch, rather than a straight-backed chair, was seen as far too forward. "A gentleman never takes a seat on the sofa," declared Herr Schramm in his book of etiquette, Good Form & Proper Deportment (Berlin, 1919). In light of such stern advice, Freud's invitation to his patients to lounge about seems remarkably daring - rather like a modern analyst inviting his patients to strip off and clamber into bed. So why did Freud risk opprobrium by asking those who visited him to adopt such a provocative position? The answer lies in the extraordinary things that happen when people do their thinking (and talking) lying down. As an enthusiastic practitioner of hypnosis, Freud had seen how lying down liberated people from conventional trains of thought. Although he abandoned hypnotism soon after he moved into his apartment in Vienna's Berggasse, he retained a hypnotist's couch to assist him in his new technique of free association. Freud found that lying down promotes a loss of control that encourages more instinctive conversation. And no wonder -the word couch (from the French coucher) doesn't only mean to lie down; it also means to put an idea into words. The safer English word, sofa (from Arabic suffa) has none of the same connotations, so it's ironic that Freud's couch - a gift from a Viennese patient - ended up in prim Hampstead, where Freud spent his final years, after fleeing to England to escape the Nazis. Today his couch has pride of place at 20 Maresfield Gardens, the house (now a museum) where he died in 1939."
	November 8, 2009 at 10:55 PM
Ms. X	Hmm, fery interestink.  I can see why people would really open up while lying in such a relaxing and calming atmosphere. Maybe that's why I have such a hard time sleeping, the instinctive conversation within my head just keeps bouncing around, looking for answers.
	November 12, 2009 at 10:09 PM
Leo	My doctor has a couch.  Nothing like the one in the picture.  But I could never lie down on the couch in a shrink's office no matter how beautiful it was. I'm too inhibited.  I sit in my chair, which is a lounge chair, but I never engage the lounge feature.  The slim lined, black leather Ikea type. I sit straight up, or slouch forward with my arms resting on my knees. That's my usual conversational posture.  Edge of seat.   Always on guard. Ready to make a quick exit.
Leo	November 13, 2009 at 4:47 PM Hmmm.  Just noticed the last time I visited my Doc that there is no longer a couch there and now I'm wondering if it was ever there at all or if I just imagined it?
Leo	December 29, 2013 at 2:23 PM Update:  I no longer see my Doc.  The co-pay became too much of a burden.  I do believe psychoanalysis helped me - to some extent - I certainly left far less delusional than when I entered and with a much more attractive hairstyle.  Looking back, I have to wonder what the hell was I  thinking.  I must never wear my hair that way again!

Glory to God in the highest,

 and on earth peace, good will toward men

The Annunciation to the Shepherds 1663 Abraham Hondius

Adoration of the shepherds 1663 Abraham Hondius

Crowds throng Bethlehem for Christmas

Crowds throng Bethlehem for Christmas - Watertown Public Opinion: Middle-east

Carol of the Bells Light Show

"Carol of the Bells" is a popular Christmas carol, composed by Mykola Leontovych with lyrics by Peter J. Wilhousky. The song is based on a folk chant known in Ukrainian as "Shchedryk". Wilhousky's lyrics are copyrighted, although the original musical composition is not.

The song is based on a traditional folk chant. It was associated with the coming New Year which, in pre-Christian Ukraine, was originally celebrated with the coming of spring in April. (This explains the reason why the original Ukrainian text speaks about a swallow returning and lambs being born.)
With the introduction of Christianity to Ukraine, and the adoption of the Julian calendar, the celebration of the New Year was moved from April to January, and the holiday with which the chant was originally associated became the Feast of Epiphany (also known in Ukrainian as Shchedry vechir). The songs sung for this celebration are known as Schedrivky.

The original Ukrainian text tells the tale of a swallow flying into a household to proclaim the plentiful and bountiful year that the family will have.  The title is derived from the Ukrainian word for "bountiful". The period for the birth of animals and the return of swallows to Ukraine, however, does not correspond to the current calendar season of winter.

In Ukraine, the chant is currently sung on the eve of the Julian New Year.

Happy Birthday Papa Francesco

Francis Pope of the People

To read about TIME’s choice in Spanish and Portuguese, click below.
EL ELEGIDO: El Papa Francisco es la Persona del Año 2013 de TIME
A Escolha: O Papa Francisco é a Personalidade do Ano eleita pela Time em 2013

Illustration by Bryan Drury for TIME; Photo reference: Alessandra Tarantino / AP

A child takes off Pope Francis' white zucchetto, or skullcap, during a meeting with children and volunteers of the Santa Marta Vatican Institute, at the Vatican on Saturday. (Photo: Associated Press)

Pope Francis celebrates his 77th birthday

Full Moon Mental!

 Should I or shouldn't I ?

Hi Leo,

Today's Full Moon in Gemini is mentally and emotionally charged! This energy will cause deep thoughts and feelings to race through your mind, leaving you feeling a bit lost and questioning how you got here. The answers you need now lie within your past.

All the things that happened in your past lives are carried over into this one. Your habits, fears, and even all the people you know are here for a reason. By understanding your past lives you can make this life more meaningful!

Tru dat.

Neil Young,Dylan... My Back Pages by ivaxavi

Can't make up my mind which version I like better.  The above seems so rambunctious and noisy but has such a great cast of characters.  I think my vote must go to the version below.  It doesn't jamble and jar my nerves like the gang-banger up above.  

My Back Pages: I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.  
Tru Dat

I'd Rather Go Blind

Clarence Bekker
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Guitar, Vocals
Clarence comes from Suriname, and moved to Amsterdam at the age of 6
and is currently living in Barcelona, Spain

Published on Dec 12, 2013

Today we are proud to share a new PFC Band Live performance of the Etta James Classic, "I'd Rather Go Blind", filmed at Byron Bay Australia during our recent 2013 Tour. Turn it up, share it with your friends and family and lets spread the love to everyone we meet!!
http://www.playingforchange.com

Titi Tsira
Guguletu, South Africa

Tal Ben Ari- a.k.a. “Tula”
 singer and songwriter from Tel Aviv, Israel, based in Barcelona

Roberto Luti
Livorno, Italy
Guitar

Grandpa Elliott
New Orleans, Louisiana, USA
Harmonica & Vocals

Mermans Mosengo
Kinshasa, Congo
Guitar & Vocals

Orbe Ortiz
Santiago de Cuba, Cuba
Bass, Tres

Jason Tamba
Matadi, Congo
Guitar & Vocals

Peter Bunetta
Los Angeles, California
Drums

Playing For Change Band

Kad mi dodjes ti

For Nick & Nadia

Kad mi dodjes ti

Pada noc puna strepnje nema Te tu kraj mene,
a trebam Te kao pjesnik- svoju bol.
Na srcu mi studen, zima, na usnama Tvoje ime
i samo cekam dan da dodjes mi!
A kad mi dodjes Ti i osmjeh vratis mi
sva patnja i bol zivota mog ce proc.
U nocima bez sna ja Tebe dozivam
da dodjes mi Ti i kao svi pocnemo mi mirno zivjeti.
Moj dan nema kraja, a nocu Tebe sanjam
I samo cekam dan da dodjes mi.
A kad mi dodjes Ti i osmjeh vratis mi
sva patnja i bol zivota mog ce proc.
U nocima bez sna ja Tebe dozivam
da dodjes mi Ti i kao svi pocnemo mi mirno zivjeti.
A kad mi dodjes Ti i osmjeh vratis mi
sva patnja i bol zivota mog ce proc.
U nocima bez sna ja Tebe dozivam
da dodjes mi Ti i kao svi pocnemo mi mirno zivjeti.


Когда вы приходите ко мне

Ночь полна тревоги вы не рядом со мной,
Вы нужны как поэт-его боль.
В центре моей холодной, зима, на губах имя Твое
и только и ждут того дня, когда я буду нуждаться!

И когда вы приходите ко мне и вернуть мою улыбку
все страдания и боль моей жизни пройдет.
В бессонные ночи, я звоню
Вы придете ко мне и нравится все начать жить мирно.

Мой день на этом не заканчивается, я мечтаю о тебе
И только и ждут того дня, когда я буду нуждаться.



And When You Come To Me

As the fearful night falls, you are not here by my side,
While I need you like a poet needs his pain.
In my heart, the cold, the winter
On my lips , only your name
And I'm only waiting for the day you'll come to me!
And when you come to me, and bring back the smile on my face
All the pain and worry of my life will pass.
In the sleepless nights I'm calling for you,
to come to me and so that we could start our peaceful life together.
My days are endless, and my nights are filled with you in my dreams,
And I'm only waiting for the day you'll come to me.
And when you come to me, and bring back the smile on my face
All the pain and worry of my life will pass.
In the sleepless nights I'm calling for you,
to come to me and like everyone else we start our peaceful life together

http://lyricstranslate.com

View From the Front Porch

This Morning

Treasures

Today while going through my keepsakes I found the following items.  I only meant to look for one particular photo and wound up spending hours reminiscing.

It will snow real soon and I will make a snowman and it will melt - Sean

 

My House by Sean

Dear Mom and Dad - I want to thank you for letting me have pets and I am thankful for my bike and all my other stuff like my possessions and a house and not a apartment and for having a big yard to play in and a dog to play with in the yard - Love your son Sean

Seany Pooh, my only son.  Christmas 1968

What My Mother Means To Me - by Colleen

What my mother means to [me] is buying me a candy bar or giving me a dime or taking me on Trolly Trains to 69th Street or taking me to grandmoms house and telling me to play and when I came in with mud on me I'd track it on the floor and then when she would see it shed send me out the door and say dont come in unless your clean and then you can eat your lunch.  So then I went and cleand and I came in and ate my lunch and it was time to leave and then I said by and me and momy went out the door and we found that it was dark and we walked home and ate dinner and then I went to bed.  And then my my momy said good knight and kissed me and she said Sweet Dreams.

Three Little Monkeys  - Christmas 1968

The one in the middle created the Mother's Day Card and short essay "What My Mother Means To Me".  As I read it again today I felt the same tinge of apprehension when she seemed to go off on a tangent and wondered once again "where the heck is she going with this story?"   I think she might have been a little annoyed with me for making her go out and clean her shoes off before entering my mother's very tidy house.  Today, decades later and in her own home,  everyone takes off their shoes and leaves them in the entrance hall.  I think she takes after me when it comes to writing. When the stream of consciousness kicks in you never know where you're going to wind up. 

cry baby cry - stick your finger in your eye

It was a September morning in 1948 and mother was dressing me for my first day of school.  In advance of this momentous occasion she had purchased all the items I would need to be a first grade student at the public school.  A metal lunch box with a thermos; red patent leather shoes; a supply of white anklet socks; yellow galoshes; a blue rain coat with white Scottie dogs on the pockets; a green wool coat with a black velvet collar and matching black velvet hat that tied under my chin and had ear flaps; five bright  plaid dresses with white cuffs and collars.   I remember standing on the kitchen table so mother could pin up and later hand stitch the he hem of my dresses.  I was small for my age and my clothes always required alterations.   Although I was told that all of these preparations were for something called school, I had no idea what school meant.  There were no books in our house.  My mother and father were not book people.    I had coloring books and paper dolls, but that was the extent of it.  My father told me wonderful stories but they didn't come from a book.  A boy next door, several years older than me, taught me the alphabet song, but it was just that, a song.   I had no concept of letters or of combinations of letters and their use in forming words.  I knew only the spoken word and the meanings behind the spoken word.  But I clearly did not comprehend the meaning of the word school.  If I had, I wouldn't have been so complacent, so cooperative, so trusting.   Mother's friend, Helen, drove us to school on the first day. Helen waited outside in her car while  Mother took me by the hand and walked me across the playground, up the stairs and through the big double doors. Mrs. Schieble greeted us as we entered her first grade classroom.  She had blond hair and a soft voice.  She showed me where to sit but I wouldn't let go of my mothers hand.  I had never been in a room with so many other children and had no intention of staying there without my mother.  I put my thumb in my mouth and buried my head in her.  She pleaded with me to sit down at my desk but I refused.     After a while she told me that she had Helen's car keys and that she had to go out and give the keys to Helen and then she would come right back.  I waited for a long while, with my thumb still in my mouth, until I realized it was a trick and started crying.  There was another girl who was also crying.  Mrs. Schieble called us cry babies. The next day was much worse.   Mother put me on a big  yellow school bus, kicking and screaming.  I was terrified.  My fear and horror over what was happening to me was so intense, that even today when I think of it, I can feel the panic, but in a detached way.   I refused to take a seat.  That would be committing myself to the horrible situation that I found myself in. The bus driver yelled at me and said I had to take a seat or I was going to make all the other kids late for school.  I didn't care.  I thought about my half-eaten peanut butter toast still sitting on the kitchen table.  I remembered mother saying, Come on slowpoke, finish that toast or you'll miss your bus.  I didn't think it was actually going to happen.  A bus coming to pick up  me?  Never. No  way!   I guess I was in denial.  Between sobs I tried to tell the bus driver that I didn't  finish my peanut butter toast. The bigger kids started laughing and singing, Cry baby cry, stick your finger in your eye.   I threw up all over my brand new shoes.  Everyone said, P-U!  The bus started moving again.  I lost my balance and fell on the floor. I bit my lip and my tongue  and  I  was bleeding.  The bus stopped and the bus driver yelled Get up.  Get up off that floor right this minute and get in your seat or get off the bus.  I couldn't get off the bus because we were down around the bend in Hell's Corner where all the juvenile delinquents live.  He didn't seem to care when I pointed that out to him,  so I sat down, thoroughly humiliated, next to a girl who  smelled like  buttered popcorn.    She was  picking her nose and giggling.  She reached into her pocket and handed me a lolly-pop.   It tasted like lemon flavored blood.

Stuck on the pane two flies buzzed ..........

Henri Matisse etching for James Joyce's Ulysses

more on this from brainpickings

Tip: a rollicking good time erupts at 4:07

 An excerpt from Joyce's "Ulysses" 

 (I actually painstakingly transcribed all of this from my own copy of Ulysses. And yes, I created this exceedingly odd, perhaps even bizarre video embedded above.  Yikovitz!)

"Mild fire of wine kindled his veins. I wanted that badly. Felt so off colour. His eyes unhungrily saw shelves of tins, sardines, gaudy lobsters' claws. All the odd things people pick up for food. Out of shells, periwinkiles with a in, off trees, snails out of the ground the French eat, out of the sea with bait on a hook. SIlly fish learn nothing in a thousand years. If you didn't know risky putting anything into your mouth. Poisonous berries. Johnny Magories. Roundness you think good. Gaudy colour warns you off. One fellow told another and so on. Try it on the dog first. Led on by the smell or the look. Tempting frjuit. Ice cones. Cream. Instinct. Orangegroves for instance. Need artificial irrigation. Bleibtreustrasse. Yes but what about oysters? Unsightly like a clot of phlegm. Filthy shells. Devil to open them too. Who found them out? Garbage, sewage they feed on. Fizz and Red bank oysters. Effect on the sexual. Aphrodis. He was in the Red bank this morning. Was he oyster old fish at table. Perhaps he young flesh in bed. No. June has no oysters. But there are people like tainted game. Jugged hare. First catch your hare. Chinese eating eggs fifty years old, blue and green again. Dinner of thirty courses. Each dish harmless might mix inside. Idea for a poison mystery. That archduke Leopold was it? No, Yes, or was it Otto one of those Hapsburgs? or who was it used to eat the scruff off his own head? Cheapest lunch in town. Of course, aristocrats. Then the others copy to be in the fashion. Milly too rock oil and flour. Raw pastry I like myself. Half the catch of oysters they throw back in the sea to keep up the price. Cheap. No one would buy. Caviare. Do the grand. Hock in green glasses. Swell blowout. Lady this. Powdered bosom pearls. THe elite. Creme de la creme. They want special dishes to pretend they're. Hermit with a platter of pulse keep down the stings of the flesh. Know me come eat with me. Royal sturgeon. High sheriff, Coffey, the butcher, right to venisons of the forest from his ex. Send him back the half of a cow. Spread I saw down in the Master of the Rolls' kitchen area. Whitehatted chef like a rabbi. Combustible duck. Curly cabbage a la duchesse de Panne. Just as well to write it on the bill of fare so you can know what you've eaten too many drugs spoil the broth. I know it myself. Dosing it with Edwards' desiccated soup. Geese stuffed silly for them. Lobsters boiled alive. Do ptake some ptarmigan. Wouldn't mind being a waiter in a swell hotel. Tips, evening dress, halfnaked ladies. May I tempt you to a little more filleted lemon sole, miss Dubedat? Yes, do bedad. And sh did bedad. Huguenot name I expect that. A miss Dubedat lived in Killiney I remember. Du, de la, French. Still it's the same fish, perhaps old Micky Hanlon of Moore street ripped the guts out of making money, hand over fist, finger in fishes' gills, can't write his name on a cheque, think he was painting the landscape with his mouth twisted. Moonikill A Aitcha ha. Ignorant as a kish of brogues, worth fifty thousand pounds.

Stuck on the pane two flies buzzed. "

The Totally Bogus Cosmic Web Store

Made this video in 2009 and had a lot of fun doing it.  It's not everybody's cup of tea, or should I say, hot mulled cider - ugh - scratch the hot mulled cider, make it eggnog instead.  I've never been to Hackensack, have no intentions of going to Hackensack, just want to clear that up. 

Welcome to the totally bogus cosmic web store. We have combed the world to find the most unusual and exciting items ever made available for sale to the general public. You won't find these items anywhere else I can guarantee you. It is our mission to make your holiday shopping as stress free as possible. Here at the Totally Bogus Cosmic Web Store we take pride in the quality of the merchandise we offer. Our dedicated staff of giftologists have made an in-depth study into the kinds of gifts people want most. Even those hard to shop for people on your holiday gift list won't be disappointed this year if you do your shopping with us. So then, without further ado, let's get started.  Sit back. Relax. Leave all the work to us. What could be easier? Our theme this year is none other than The Twelve Days of Christmas. I love that tune, don't you? First item please.
Oh dear.  I wasn't quite expecting that.  Excuse me.  I must talk to one of the staff.   Henry.  Henry could you please come out here? 

Yes.  Yes.  Here I am.   Is there a problem Olivia?

Well Henry, I don't know.  I was about to ask you that. Is there a problem?

Not that I'm aware of.

The monkey is legitimate?

Well of course the monkey is legitimate.  She can  type 120 words a minute and has a very impressive resume.

Alright then, just checking.  Sorry ladies and gentleman.  The staff has been known to play a trick on me every now and then.  One never can be too sure.  Well then, our first item of the evening. A personal secretary.  How utterly charming.   Tell us about this item will you Henry?

Of course.   It would be my pleasure.   On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a personal secretary.  This adorable executive monkey is every woman's dream.  No more racing to meet deadlines. Miss monkey is a whiz in your home office.  Also doubles as babysitter, chief cook and bottle washer, housekeeper extraordinaire and gardener.  Anyone can give her Chanel Number Five.  Think outside the box this year.  Order miss monkey today and you will never have to think outside the box again.  Give the woman in your life a gift that keeps on giving and giving and giving and giving and giving and giving and giving and giving and giving and giving .....

Alright Henry that will be enough.

and giving and giving and giving .....

Henry.   That will be quite enough thank you.  Let's see that picture of our first item once again, shall we?  To refresh our memory. There it is then.  You've got all the information you need to order miss monkey.  Our operators are waiting to place your orders.  Call within the next 24 hours and get that wonderful motivational poster.  I'm rather fond of bananas myself. 

And now for our second item of the day.  On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two mis-matched gloves.  Can't seem to get that  tune out of my head.  Does that ever happen to you?
Alright everyone.  Take a look at your screen.   And there you have it ladies and gentleman.  Our second item.  Mis-matched gloves.  How very interesting.  Whatever will they  think of next?  Tres chic.  Tres chic.  Barbara.  Will you come out here dear and tell our viewers more about these marvelous mis-matched gloves?  Barbara. Barbara? 

Yes.  Here I am.  Good morning Olivia.  I just love the earrings you're wearing today.  Are they Joan Rivers or Suzanne Somers?  I used to have a pair very similar to those.  I don't know what happened to them.  I think I left them in my hotel room in Jamaica.  Or was it New Orleans?  Oh well.   One of the two.  I still have the matching bracelet but I hardly ever wear it because, well you know, it's just not the same without the earrings.  I suppose I could always wear gold earrings with that bracelet.
Nothing over the top.  Or pink topaz.  Yes.  Pink topaz would work don't you think?  After all, no sense in letting that gorgeous bracelet lie in my jewelry box just because I no longer have the original matching earrings. 

Barbara.  I don't mean to interrupt darling, but why don't you tell our viewers about our second item. 
If you don't mind. 

Oh yes.  Sorry.

Not a problem my dear.  Go on now.  Let's hear all about the gloves shall we?

Alrighty.  On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two mismatched gloves.  Let me begin by telling you that these gloves are all the rage in Paris.  New York. London.  East Hackensack New Jersey.  They are stealing the show on runways in every fashion capital of the world.  And, as you know, when it comes to fashion, one day you're in and the next day your out.  Don't let this happen to anyone you love.  Make sure those people on your gift list are in.  Don't let them leave the house this year wearing a matching pair of gloves.  Here at the totally bogus cosmic web store we are working diligently in collaboration with the National Organization for the Prevention of Fashion Faux Pas to nip the widespread disgrace of fashion ignorance in the bud.  How are we doing this you may ask.  We are doing this by offering you this avant guarde collection of high-quality knitted gloves which can be mismatched as you please.  And please people, don't try to pull the wool over our eyes by ordering matching singles.  We weren't born yesterday you know.

Thank you Barbara.  Hackensack New Jersey you say?  What a small world.  I have a very dear cousin living in Hackensack.  Did you know that Hackensack is only 12 miles from Manhattan? No wonder they are so fashion-conscious. Yes indeed.  Only 12 miles from Manhattan.  In fact, you can see the New York City skyline from my cousins kitchen window.  Lovely view.  Lovely view.  Now,
let's get on with our business ladies and gentlemen.  Take another look at item number two and call our operators to order these wonderful mismatched gloves.  And don't forget to have your credit card ready

Well by golly those telephones sure are busy.  Remember, our supplies are limited.  Call now to make sure your items arrive in time for the holidays.  And now, we must take a short commercial break. Don't go away.  We will be right back with our third item.  On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me ..... I wonder.  What could it be?