The Plateau of Functioning

Zhang Daqian
(張大千, 1899-1983), original name Zhang Yuan (張爰) and pseudonym Daqian, was one of the best-known and most prodigious Chinese artists of the twentieth century. He is also regarded by many art experts as one of the most gifted master forgers of the twentieth century. He excelled 
at all types of paintings, and is especially famous for his landscape, as well as lotus paintings.

I prefer to remain where I am, wherever that is, I am happy here as long as people don't try to suck me into their agendas. At times though, it does feel like I am on a slippery slope as far as functioning goes. Without stress, which comes from being pulled in directions I have no interest in going, I function at a level that allows me to pursue my interests, obsessions, bliss.   I like this plateau I am on. It offers an endless 360 degree view. Sometimes, if I leave my little safe haven, to borrow a cup of sugar from a neighbor or something like that, I loose my footing and fall off the cliff. That hurts. I get injured.  After I heal I climb back up and get re-settled in my old familiar surroundings. Then everything's comfy cozy again and I tell myself I can live without sugar. But sugar is sweet and sometimes I get a craving and think "This time I will be more careful and not fall into the abyss of society."  You'd think I would learn, but I have the ability to block out pain and memories of pain, a kind of selective amnesia that allows me to function in spite of a nagging desire not to.  It seems to me that I have a choice: to function or not to function. That is the question.  And sometimes it seems there's a sign on the wall that says, "FUNCTION OR ELSE!" That scares me, so I function. (Leo)