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Monday, July 2, 2012

Social Graces - a party in my head

 Maria Germanova
in costume for Maeterlinck's The Blue Bird
read more about Maria & Costume @ TYWKIWDBI
 I have been in love with this photo of Maria since the first time I saw it on the web while searching for vintage photos. At that time it was simply labeled "bizarre vintage". I have used it from time to time as an avatar and have also used it as a blog post picture. I would love to have it blown-up, framed under glass and hung on the wall above my piano.

Social Graces


It’s not that I am Anti-Social; I can be quite sociable when I want to be, when the time is right, when the occasion calls for it. It’s just that I don’t feel the need or the desire to socialize, and when I must socialize, I usually find it to be a thoroughly unenjoyable way of spending my time. I get the job done, you could say, and sometimes there is a smidgen of pleasure in it for me, but mostly it’s hard work. I have much better parties in my head when I’m alone and have control of the guest list. I party with luminaries, ancestors, relatives and loved ones who have passed on, highfaluting characters and broken-down bums; all have something interesting to talk about or to teach me. I am never bored or defensive because I never invite boring or offensive people to my parties. I don’t have to worry about what to wear or what to say or how to act. I don’t have to worry about being a passenger in anybody’s car. And best of all, at anytime I can announce “party’s over” and shoo everyone out.


“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” I love that line and I love to say it just the way Blanche does in “A Street Car Named Desire” by Tennessee Williams. It is easier for me to be sociable with strangers than with people I know and will see again. I can be myself with strangers, I can relax. Strangers can only exist in the present. They can’t be strangers if you knew them yesterday, and tomorrow they won’t be strangers anymore. The past and the future do not really exist. I like to dwell on that amazing truth and all of the wonderful truths that evolve from it. Meister Eckhart, Soren Kierkegaard and Mary Baker Eddy are frequently invited to my parties. They are my soul mates and my teachers. The three of them get along well and have the most fascinating discussions. If not for Mary, I would have had my gall bladder removed. It galls me (ha-ha) that she isn’t given the respect she deserves, and that she is discounted by people who haven’t even taken the time to read her work.


I don’t go looking for soul mates or teachers, they come to me. I believe it has to do with energy and cosmic consciousness. For example, Meister Eckhart literally fell off the bookshelf and into my hands. I caught him before he hit the floor and I am grateful that he took it upon himself to hurl his wisdom my way at the precise time that I was ready for his lessons. It was the same with Soren and Mary. They found me and I am better for it. Their teachings are sacred to me. They are healers and healing is a holy occupation. I had a similar experience of being found by my teachers while browsing through a used book store in Ventura Beach, California following a mass at the Mission of Saint Bonaventure.


I was visiting Ventura Beach and leaving the next morning for Flagstaff Arizona and the Grand Canyon. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, just something to read on the train. I chose three books from three different areas of the store. I hadn’t heard of these three books or their authors previously, and I chose them simply because I was intrigued by their titles: “A Separate Reality” by Carlos Castaneda; “Exploring the Crack in the Cosmic Egg” by Joseph Chilton Pearce; “The Practice of the Presence of God” by Brother Lawrence. Can you imagine my amazement when I discovered that in his book Mr. Pearce, who likes to be called “Joe,” refers to both Castaneda and Brother Lawrence? Living in the present moment, that reality only exists in the present, and that Heaven, Nirvana, Cosmic Consciousness, etc. is attainable by living in the “here and now” is the central theme of these books and links them together. Joe, Carlos and Lawrence are inseparable in my mind and when I throw a party, I can’t invite one without the other two, or two without the other one. My teachers seem to come in threes. Trinities. Hmmm.




Here is an abbreviated version of a party in my head

Me: Is everybody present?

Joe: I’m here.

Carlos: Me two.

Lawrence: Me three.

Me: Ugh. That was awful.

Carlos: Not really.

Joe: It was awfully awful.

Lawrence: God awful.

Me: So, what’ve you been up to?

Joe: Not up to, but rather all around. No up, no down.

Me: That sounds Eckhartian.

Lawrence: Non dualistic, at any rate.

Carlos: Separate, but not dualistic. Never dualistic. I want to make that clear.

Lawrence: God yes. The only and the all. Do you feel it?

Joe: (Singing, gyrating, accompanied by Air Guitar) Do…You…Feel like I do?

Me: Let me re-phrase it. What’ve you guys been around to?

Carlos: Not much. Here an illusion, there an illusion, everywhere an illusion.

Joe: There’s so much to be around to. It’s a relief, don’t you think, to be around not much for a bit? We all could use a little breather.

Carlos: You’re a Space Cadet, Joe.

Joe: Look who’s talkin’.

Dylan: “I’m walkin’. I ain’t talkin’.

Me: Bob. Where the hell did you come from?

Dylan: I’m crashin’. The best parties are the ones you crash.

Me: Well, if I knew you were comin’ I’d’ve …

Lawrence: Practice makes perfect. Bob made a perfect crash landing.

Joe: It’s all good.

Carlos: Second to none. A transformation. In two eyes and out the other. Anybody got a drum?

Joe: How ‘bout a murd? It’s small enough to fit in one’s pocket yet has the capacity to fill the room with a rhythm that will rock these walls. Boom, boom boom boom, boom boom boom, boom boom boom ……………………………………………

Lawrence: That was heavy, Joe. I’m liking it. I bet it takes a lot of practice to play like that.

Joe: Not really. My heart-mind is doing it. I just sit back and dig.

Carlos: About that murd, Joe. I wouldn’t mind having one of those? Could you pick me up one?

Joe: Sure thing, Carlos. As a matter of fiction, why don’t you take this one.

Carlos: Really? Dude, I would be eternally grateful.

Lawrence: Well said, Carlos, well said. Faith, hope and charity, but of these three …

Me: Lawrence, not to interrupt, but I’ve been meaning to ask you, can we ever stop practicing?

Lawrence: (Belly laughing) You crack me up. Can we ever stop practicing? (Belly laughing) Pass the pickled herring, please.

Joe: You know what I like most about our little get-togethers? The complete absence of B.S. We don’t babble here, do we? We say what needs to be said, or better yet, it says us. Yes, it says us. No more, no less. Some people think that every question needs an answer. We, on the other hand, think every answer needs a question. It’s Mad Hatterish and very invigorating, don’t you think?

Me: I hesitate to bring this to your attention, Joe, but you just asked three questions.

Joe: So I did. So I did. So I did.

Carlos: Let’s play Lizard Brain.

Lawrence: Nah, we played that last time.

Me: Bob, play “Romance in Durango”. Please. Bob? Bob? Where the hell is Bob when you need him?

Joe: Does everybody see what I see?

Carlos: Seeing is for the Impeccable.

Me: I don’t see anything and it’s my party.

Lawrence: Keep practicing.

Joe: This is a primary moment.

Me: This is so non-ordinary.

Carlos: It goes on endlessly.

Me: This party is over. Vamoose.

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