Well, the clock says it's time to close now
I guess I'd better go now
I'd really like to stay here all night
The cars crawl past all stuffed with eyes
Street lights shed their hollow glow
Your brain seems bruised with numb surprise
Still one place to go
Still one place to go
Let me sleep all night in your soul kitchen
Warm my mind near your gentle stove
Turn me out and I'll wander baby
Stumblin' in the neon groves
Well, your fingers weave quick minarets
Speak in secret alphabets
I light another cigarette
Learn to forget, learn to forget
Learn to forget, learn to forget
Let me sleep all night in your soul kitchen
Warm my mind near your gentle stove
Turn me out and I'll wander babyStumblin' in the neon groves
Follow me then, into the kitchen, through this doorway
which, unlike all the other rooms of our house, has no door to shut you out or
keep you in. The atmosphere is easy
come, easy go. There is nothing to hide
in this room, nothing to lock up. Its
contents belong to one and all. I am
especially fond of the linoleum floor and its intriguing pattern of green and
red concentric squares. It would appear
to be a simple checkerboard to most people, but to me it is so much more. In the center of each six inch square is a black
half inch square centered in either a green or red one inch square. The squares then increase by half inch
increments of alternating green or red color until the final six inch square is
reached. This arrangement of shape
within shape and color within color provide an endless possibility of pattern
and form and an endless opportunity to imagine and explore. I am eight years old. I scrub this floor every Saturday morning. I get down on my hands and knees with a
bucket of warm soapy water and a soft, clean rag. I scrub every square inch of the floor with the
ardor of a mystic finding herself in the midst of an infinite and unintended
journey. The voice you hear belongs to
my mother, “What’s going on? It’s taking
you forever to scrub that floor.”
When I was younger, about four years old, I used to climb up
on Helen’s lap and sit out there in the kitchen with them. Helen would let me look through her pocket
book for candy and chewing gum, and she would let me take sips of her ginger
ale. But then one day something happened
to change me forever. It was something
my mother said: “Go in the other room like a good little girl.” Her words came as a shock to me. How could I ever be anything but a good
little girl? I looked at my mother and
in a state of utter confusion stated, “But I already am a good little
girl.” Everyone was impressed by my wit
and my logic, I could tell by the expression on their faces and the way that
looked at each other and smiled. My
mother did not smile. She stared at me
with a stern face and with an air of one-up-manship said “Then go in the other
room like the good little girl that you are.”
I realized at that moment that my being good was not a permanent
condition, that it was instead a never ending process that carried with it the
ever present possibility of not being good.
And what’s more, that that possibility could be determined and therefore
arbitrarily controlled by someone other than myself. I was sickened by the horror of this
revelation, and by the arduous path that now lay ahead of me, the endless proof
I would have to provide to the judges of goodness whoever they might be. I felt broken and shamed. With my eyes
downcast and my head hung low I dutifully left the kitchen. I threw myself on the sofa, buried my head
under a pillow and cried for a long while over my great loss and the ponderous knowledge that replaced it.