Damned if you do and damned if you don't

   Lorenzo Dow (October 16, 1777 – February 2, 1834)

You can and you can't 

You shall and you shan't 

You will and you won't 

And you will be damned if you do  

And you will be damned if you don't.

LORENZO DOW'S CONVERSION
From: The Testimony of a Hundred Witnesses
Compiled by J. F. Weishampel Sr. 

When Lorenzo Dow was under four years of age, he was already under the awakening influences of religion. In his thirteenth year he had several remarkable dreams, which led him to a state of deep conviction for sin. He made this known to his father, after which, he says: "I knew I was unprepared to die; tears began to run down plentifully, and I again resolved to seek the salvation of my soul; I began that day to pray in secret, but how to pray or what to pray for, I scarcely knew. I at once broke off from all my old companions and evil practices, which some call innocent mirth, and betook to the Bible, kneeling in private. I frequently felt for a few seconds, cords of sweet love to draw me on; but from whence it flowed, I could not tell: which I since believe was for an encouragement to hope in the mercy of God. If I now had had some one to instruct me in the plan of salvation, I doubt not but I should have found salvation."

After this he was troubled with thoughts that he might be predestined to be lost, and therefore let his hope sink; and to end his earthly troubles, he resolved to destroy his own life. His mind was changed f-from this resolve, however, and he then felt thankful that God prevented him by the influence of His gracious Spirit, from thus sending his soul to everlasting misery. He attended a Methodist meeting, where he heard sermons preached from the texts, "This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners" [ 1 Timothy 1: 15], and "Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no Physician there? Why then is not the daughter of my people recovered?" [Jeremiah 8:22]. The preacher, during one of the sermons, accidentally pointing his finger towards him, exclaimed, "Sinner, there is a frowning Providence above your head, and a burning hell beneath your feet; and nothing but the brittle thread of life prevents your soul from falling into endless perdition. If you don't pray, then you'll be damned! " He says, this came home like a dagger to his heart, and he felt afraid to move, lest he should tumble into hell.

At this meeting one of his companions was converted, and soon after, others sought and found pardon. Sorrows arose afresh in his mind, at the idea of his friends being heavenbound, whilst he was in the downward road. He says, "I went to a prayer meeting; saints were happy, and sinners were weeping on every side. I went from one to another, to know if there was any mercy for me. The young converts answered, 'God is all love; He is all mercy.' I replied, God is just, too, and justice will cut me down: I saw no way how God could be just and yet show me mercy. A woman told me that evening, that I would be praising God by next morning. I told her I believed I should be in hell before morning."

He went home that night and prayed; then he dreamed he was carried off to hell by a devil. On awaking, he prayed fervently; then these words came into his mind: "In that day there shall be a fountain opened to the house of David, and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, for sin and uncleanness" [Zechariah 13: 1]. He says: "A thought darted into my mind, that the fountain was Christ; and if it were so deep and wide for the wicked numerous inhabitants of Jerusalem to wash them clean, why not for the whole world--why not for me? Here hope sprang up, that there was a Savior offered to ALL. I then thought myself to be the 'unprofitable servant,' and that I heard the voice of God saying, 'Take the unprofitable servant, and cast him into outer darkness' [Matthew 25:30]. I put my hands together, and cried in my heart, Lord, I give up; I submit; I yield; I yield; if there be mercy in heaven for me, let me know it; and if not, let me go down to hell, and know the worst of my case. As these words flowed from my heart, I saw the Mediator step in, as it were, between the Father's justice and my soul, and these words were applied to my mind with great power: 'Son! thy sins which are many, are forgiven thee; thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.' The burden of sin and guilt and the fear of hell vanished from my mind, as perceptibly as an hundred pounds weight falling from a man's shoulder: my soul flowed out in love to God, to His ways and to His people; yea, and to all mankind. As soon as I obtained deliverance, I said in my heart, I have now found Jesus and His religion, but I will keep it to myself, but instantly my soul was so filled with peace and love and joy, that I could no more keep it to myself seemingly, than a city set upon a hill could be hid. Daylight dawned; I arose and went out of doors, and every thing I cast my eye upon, seemed to be speaking forth the praise and wonders of the Almighty; it appeared more like a new world than any thing else I can compare it to: this happiness is easier felt than described."

"He was restless and he was a dreamer. He was contradictory and never happier than when engaged in a wordy war. He possessed scant learning, but was a very close observer of mankind. The very face of Lorenzo Dow indicated his character. His features were both rough and delicate. It was rough and effeminate but in that face there was every mark of indomitable energy. He parted his hair in the middle and wore it hanging down his neck and shoulders and his face was radiant with kindness."
From History of Methodism in Alabama
by Rev. [Anson?] West, D.D.
February 20, 1939

" One who became famous on the circuit was, Lorenzo Dow. He was known for his wild appearance and impassioned preaching. Many a new mother inspired by his preaching named a child after him." Byron L. Troyer, in his 'Yesterday's Indiana,' relates ". . . Lorenzo Dow, best known of all the circuit riders, was a modern Elijah. When he visited Indiana, he would dash on a horse from the wood into a backwoods community, dismount, and preach with such fire and fervor he became known as "Crazy Dow."  Denton Genealogy

An engraving made by Lossing-Barrett at one of Dow's outdoor sermons

 Dow's public speaking mannerisms were like nothing ever seen before among the typically conservative church goers of the time. He shouted, he screamed, he cried, he begged, he flattered, he insulted, he challenged people and their beliefs. He told stories and made jokes. It is recorded that Lorenzo Dow often preached before open-air assemblies of 10,000 people or more and held the audiences spellbound.

Dow's fame spread, and so did his travels. He traveled on foot and occasionally on horseback (when someone would donate a horse) throughout what was then the United States. He also traveled extensively in Canada, England and Ireland, and once to the West Indies. He was usually well-received although there were exceptions.

A fierce abolitionist, Dow's sermons were often unpopular in the southern United States, and he frequently was threatened with personal violence. He sometimes was forcibly ejected from towns, pelted with stones, eggs, and rotten vegetables. That never stopped him; he simply walked to the next town and gave the same sermon again.

Lorenzo Dow was personally unkempt. He did not practice personal hygiene and his long hair and beard were described as "never having met a comb." He usually owned one set of clothes: those that were on his back. When those clothes became so badly worn and full of holes that they were no longer capable of covering him, some person in the audience usually would donate a replacement. The donated clothes often were not the correct size for his skinny body.

When he traveled, he carried no luggage other than a box of Bibles to be given away. Throughout most of his life, what little money he ever collected was either given away to the poor or used to purchase Bibles. In his later years, he did accumulate a bit of money from the sales of his autobiography and religious writings.

His singularities of manner and of dress excited prejudices against him, and counteracted the effect of his eloquence. Nevertheless he is said to have preached to more persons than any man of his time.

His influence and popularity led to many U.S. children of the early 19th century to be named after him. The 1850 U.S. census counts Lorenzo as one of the most popular first names in America.

His wife, Peggy Dow (1780–1820), was almost as eccentric as her husband. She published her journal, entitled Vicissitudes in the Wilderness (fifth edition, 1833)